Security Files #18

"You Gotta Be Kidding Me"

So I'm on this baseball related commercial with Tommy Lasorda. In the commercial he helps other baseball fans not to be ashamed of their teams that didn't make it in the playoffs.
Which rerminds me, to all you DODGER fans, ever wonder why they call themselves Dodger Blue? They lose so much and never go anywhere which make their fans Blue...
Okay our first day we shot over in Long Beach, Tommy Lasords character tells this guy sitting up in a tree to come down while a little girl plays the piano. Our next day were at a house just around the corner from our last set and this time Tommy's character has to get a family from hiding under the kitchen sink. Our 3rd day we shoot over at USC campus, at one of their prestiges sorority's (That's what they say) I'm watching Tommy inthe building, (he didn't want any students bothering him) So I'm looking at the many pictures they have up in the place. I and many others notice there's something wrong with the wall of pictures. There's no color. I mean every girl looked blonde, brunette blue eyes, green eyes. Talk about Stepford Wives society. Today was a big day for Tommy, he wanted to see Maddox pitch for the first time for the dodgers. While their setting up the tv I'm standing around talking to the pa's. Two of them were Brazilian, just something about those brazlian girls...Things that make you go Hhmm. So these sorority sisters were just staring at us.
PA: Those girls keep on staring I'm going to go over and kick her ass!
(I could go for a good cat fight right about now)
One of the girls approaches us. That pa just might get her wish.
The girl, tall athletic, beautiful, light blonde hair blue eyes colgate smile looks at me.
GIRL: We were wondering what Fraternity are you with?
I look back maybe their talking to someone behind me.
GIRL: I'm talking to you. My sisters and I want to know what Fraternity is Security.
I'm stunned with silence.
GIRL: We notice that it must be a minority franternity.
I had four other guards working with me today, and they're all black Hence the minority comment.
The girl turns around to her fellow sisters.
GIRL: I don't think he speaks english.
Another sorority sister walks up, speaking in very bad spanish
ME: I speak english.
GIRL: Then why didn't you answer.
ME: I don't speak stupid
The girls are shocked.
GIRL: Excuse you.
ME: No excuse you. Do you really believe that I'm in a Franternity called Security?
They look at eachother. both answer "YES"
ME: I'm a security officer, you know those guys that roam the campus keeping you safe.
They laugh.
GIRL: Your one of those guys, My daddy say's you guys make no money.
ME: Next time you talk to your daddy, tell him he's wasting his money on his stupid child in college.
This is why I'm a UCLA fan.

This converstation might seem a little far fetched, but believe when I say this, It was true... very, very true